He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
