Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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