i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Welp...herpes.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
