Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
