you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I need to align my fucking chakras
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
