I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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