even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
