i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
