i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
