I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
