You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
