Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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