I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
