Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
