we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
