i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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