yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
