My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
