so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
