there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
