real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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