just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
