mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
