...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
