they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
