it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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