guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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