i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
