When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
