i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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