Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
