I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
