lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
