my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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