He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
NoShamevember. You game?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
