at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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