idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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