connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
