I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
