I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
