Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
