dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
