That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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