i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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