I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
