I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
