My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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