playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
