I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
