O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
