I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
