3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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