my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
